Now I'm the Boss

Our favourite holiday country is Portugal. The Algarve is really great in the spring and the autumn.

We love to go to one of the little cities near Faro. The people are very friendly and prices are very nice for your wallet.

In one city, people know my wife pretty well. She’s been there quite a couple of times. In most bars we cheer with the people and communicate with hands and feet. Portuguese is a difficult language I don’t think I will ever learn. But we do get around and enjoy ourselves every time we are there.

At the side of the river that runs through the city is a bar that we call “The English Bar” for ourselves. The prices are a bit higher than in the other bars, but a big advantage is that you are able to talk English to the people who serve. The British colony (the people who live in and around the city) love to come to this bar. The owner is a good guy and runs his bar in a very clever manner. He has a big collection of weird hats, caps and helmets. People always come back to have a look at the pictures that have been taken of them with one of these on their head. Most of the walls are partly covered with these pictures. And you can drink the local brand of beer but the bar also offers a wide range of British beers.

One night we were over there and things went as smoothly as ever. The staff were very friendly and very quick. You hardly had the time to speak out an order before you got the new drink you wanted. I always thought the blond girls who attended the bar were English. My wife didn’t think so because of their accent. Their hair had been dyed, maybe they were Portuguese. So when I ordered again, I asked and I was amazed to hear that they came from Romania and Bulgaria. I complimented them with their English and after that they were even friendlier than before.

At a certain moment two young women entered. One looked quite nice and the other knew she looked quite nice. That she was a bit overweight is not a problem in my opinion, but she wore a dress that made her into a sort of sausage. Maybe she had bought it when she was a few kilograms lighter. She had been very generous with perfume on herself, it was really breathtaking. She carried a fake Louis Vuitton handbag and had Dolce & Gabbana glasses on her nose. Her lips were coloured in a way that made her mouth look like an open wound. She talked very loudly and was very aware of herself. She was the daughter of the boss, my wife told me.

She placed her friend next to the corner of the bar and got behind it herself. One of the men was asked to give her a stool. One of the blonde girls was sent off and the other was ordered to go to the kitchen. Because SHE was going to take over. Obviously she wanted to impress her friend.At a certain moment two young women entered. One looked quite nice and the other knew she looked quite nice. That she was a bit overweight is not a problem in my opinion, but she wore a dress that made her into a sort of sausage. Maybe she had bought it when she was a few kilograms lighter. She had been very generous with perfume on herself, it was really breathtaking. She carried a fake Louis Vuitton handbag and had Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses on her nose. Her lips were coloured in a way that made her mouth look like an open wound. She talked very loudly and was very aware of herself. She was the daughter of the boss, my wife told me.

She did take over the talking. She was in every conversation in the bar and flirted with men who probably were friends of her father. At least they were twice her age. But she drank twice as much as they did.

I ordered and she nodded at me and finished a story she was telling her girlfriend. One of the men made a joke and she laughed with her mouth wide open. From the distance I was I could count the filled teeth she had. I waved at her and she waved back and laughed out loud again. I thought this wasn’t funny and started to walk over. She remembered my order and got my two beers. The same thing happened again after we wanted to get our nightcap, our “one for the road”.

When I wanted to pay the bill, I just showed my wallet. She understood and named the price. It was far less than expected. She only had the beer I got from the blond girls on my tab. I asked her if she was sure. I was very happy that she wore these glasses,they were a sort of protection for me! Her eyes spit fire and could have killed me! “Do you suggest that I can’t count?” she said with an irritated voice. I just shrugged and gave her what she asked for.

When we got out she had found her good mood again, at least it seemed so. She roared with laughter. We laughed too, it had been quite a cheap night out!