Old and negative?

When you go on a coach trip it's always a surprise who are your fellow travellers. Sometimes you meet new friends; sometimes you see people sitting close to you, you would normally try to avoid.
We went on a trip by coach to Ireland. It started very early, we were picked up at 3 AM. Not my favorite time to begin the day.

We came to sit next to two elderly ladies, who immediately started to complain about the unholy hour we all had to get up. Their moaning increased after we had to wait for a couple that missed the coach, because of their taxi going the wrong way. We waited almost 2 hours and even after this were still on schedule. Maybe the old women were right in stating they could have been in bed two extra hours. All the others did not see how complaining could help.

Things went quite okay that day after the delay. We safely made it to Ireland The next day we had a bit of bad luck. There had been an accident, people got killed and the Garda blocked the way. So we were not able to visit the castle that was on our schedule. The old ladies shouted that we probably would go back to the hotel and be bored shitless. This was not the case: the drivers searched for a different route, another goal.

They started to search for a restaurant for our promised coffee break. Finally they saw another coach, a rather small one, parked. The driver was cleaning and told our drivers about a restaurant at the end of the parking lot. They came to an agreement with the owner and decided to get our coach off the road and park it. It was obviously quite difficult: the entrance was beautified with two stone pillars with stone lions on top. It took a lot of manoeuvering to get our coach through it. The result was a heavily damaged coach.

Near us the old women had a great time: "They call themselves drivers! Oh my God, we're all going to die! I can't watch this anymore!" Their big laughs showed that there was no real fear.
After this incident every difficult bend in the road got them to start shouting: "Oh no, not again! I can't watch this. Oh Lord, get me out of this!"

We never had real incidents with the driving, the other people on the coach rolled their eyes every time the old ladies started their moaning. We saw a lot of the western part of Ireland, had a lot of luck with the weather too. Ireland is a very green island, because of the amount of rain it normally gets.
It was very surprising to hear the old moaners on their mobile phones talking to a friend, saying that it was raining all the time and that this trip had been very boring. "We are being dumped in shopping centers all the time!" We visited the center of Galway, but that was all the "shopping" we did. Fellow travellers made gestures like the old women were out of their minds.

Coming back to England we were dropped at a central point. The old girls went to the drivers: "Thank you for a lovely time. We really enjoyed this trip. Will be happy to do it again."
I listened to it in amazement, my wife told me after some time that it would be better if I closed my mouth...
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Probably

My wife wanted to make her famous Thai curry, so I was searching for a lime in the shop. Finally I found the limes and took a nice one. Coming back to her, she was talking to somebody. He was one of the workers of the shop, very overweight, had grey thin hair and grey stubble.
"Look who I found in the shop!", she exclaimed.
I had to look thoroughly and was lucky she helped me out: "It's Ralph! From the pub!"
Of course I knew: "Oh, now I see it! I didn't recognise you in that uniform. How are you doing, mate?"

He stood there with a bucket, a mop and had obviously just put out a sign. "Caution! Slippery when wet!" He must have had to clean the mess somebody had made, dropping a jar or a bottle.
We just stood there, so I asked him: "I never knew you worked over here. We have been in the shop a million times, never saw you before."
He looked a bit lost for words, answered finally: "I have been working here 27 years already. Time flies. It does not feel that long. I don't feel any older than when I started. I just asked your wife how old she thinks I am. What do you think my age is?"

When people ask this question it is always risky. Too young, you don't take them serious; too old, you are insulting them. I would have said something between 65 and 70, but did not dare to say it.
My wife helped me again: "I said that Ralph is 55."
Grateful I reacted: "I would have said the same."
Ralph looked happy with the answers: "I'm actually 60. But most people think I am a lot younger. I have a young appearance."

He looked at his bucket and mop: "I better get on with the job. I never understand why I always have to do these odd jobs. I never get the nicer tasks."
I reacted: "It's probably because of your young appearance."
He nodded and added: "Probably."
He turned around and shuffled away in his penguin style of walking.
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Tax Free Shopping

Some people are not very clever buyers and I think I am one of them. I never thought about the possibility of tax free shopping when I am in another country. But this time I was made aware of this by a shop owner. We were doubting about buying an item in Norway and at the till I was told that the actual price of the thing would be a lot less if I calculated the gain of tax free shopping.

After the purchase we had to fill in a form and the man said that after that things would be quite easy.
We believed him and tried to get more information on our cruise ship. Other people did things easier. Just save the bill when it is higher than 315 NOK (Norwegian Kroner), they said. And you have to leave the goods in the original packing.

We were waiting for announcements about the tax, but not in a desperate way. A holiday is to enjoy yourself and not something about worrying about taxes. Yet we kept an eye on messages. Finally it became clear: at the last harbour in Norway somebody from the Norwegian government would handle the taxes.

On that day we went to the reception, where things were bound to happen, far too early. But to my surprise we were not the first people. And soon there was a long queue behind us. It was very surprising to see how quick the queue was gone. The civil servant was not somebody for long discussions. You had to show the Global Blue Form, completely filled in. If you had that you, got money. In any other case you would not get anything.
Some people were dragging the goods they bought along, but there was no need for that.

Soon you could hear people moaning. A lot were really angry: "This is a bloody scam! Ridiculous!"
It did not help a bit, of course. Rules are rules and certainly in Scandinavia.
My wife was angry too: "Why on earth do they give American Dollars?"
Her words were echoed by a lot of people, yet this was it.
Within an hour the queue was gone and the Norwegian official too.
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A very important meeting

In every brochure and description of the cruise was written about the possibility that some harbours would only be possible to be reached by tender. Also that we should be prepared that some harbours therefore would not be available for us. My wife goes along on a mobility scooter which is quite handy most of the times, but we could imagine there could arise some problems on a journey like this.

So it did not come as a surprise we got an invitation to go to a meeting about that. The harbour of a little village in Norway called Geiranger seemed to be a problem to visit.
We did like to go there, saw some amazing pictures on the net and in the brochure.
Of course we would attend the meeting, see what was possible for us.

We were at sea, did not have a lot to do. Lunch was already devoured and so we decided to go a bit early. We are both former civil servants and like to be in time for meetings. We came in 30 minutes early and took strategic chairs; not too much in front, not too far in the back of the room.
Some workmen were placing a screen and a projector. They switched the projector on and checked if the screen was fully used. After that they put more chairs ready for the expected audience.

A few minutes after they had left other men popped up. They were dressed differently, it looked to me like they were the technical team. They put the screen a few feet away and pointed the projector again at the screen, attaching a laptop to the thing. A film was started; the sound was almost off, but it was obvious that the film was about tenders. The projector was fine tuned and they left again.

In the meantime a new team of workers appeared who started to put chairs away or in a different place. We asked them when the meeting would take place; the half hour was almost gone. They told us the meeting would be in another half hour. We were wrongly informed. There were more guests now waiting for the meeting to be started.

A woman in a white uniform (higher in rank, I thought) showed up. She apologised for the wrong info we had been given. A few women in brown uniforms came in and under the leadership of the woman in white they put chairs in the room in a different way. Slowly more people came in and they were told the same story about the wrong timing. The tender film played on, we had seen it more than ten times.

Finally some men in white uniforms came in. They fiddled a bit with the projector and the laptop, but soon gave up. It was impossible to improve the sound. Instead they had to reorganise the chairs. Far more people than expected tried to squeeze in the room. A lot were in wheelchairs or mobility scooter. Somehow this was managed and we got a speech from one of the men in white uniform, the safety officer. The tender film layed on.

There were strong warning about getting on and off the tender, we were made to pay attention to some of the features of the tender film. The woman in white uniform laid a rubber mat on the floor with two yellow silhouettes of a foot. While the man talked, it was replaced a few times.
When the man was done with his speech, he laid the rubber mat a bit different again.

The feet on the mat resembled the step people had to take to get on and off the tender. We all had to test to see if we were fit enough to go ashore in Geiranger.
People became very nervous. My wife assured me that she was never going to be able to do this.
The biggest difficulty was that the step had to be done without using a stick or some other device.
The safety officer told us about this a few times. The other staff members looked on in a very serious way; it reminded me of a funeral or such.

And then it was time to try. One after another people walked up to the mat and tried. Almost everybody made it after all and there suddenly was a happy and joyful atmosphere. Even my wife could do it. So no worries after all. The fact that we had been in that room for almost two hours was already forgotten.

A few days later the cruise ship arrived in the harbour of Geiranger. A ponton bridge was laid out in front of the ship and we could get off the ship in the usual way. No need for the tender after all.
But we could see how things could have been. Behind our ship was a ship called "Mein Schiff". The passengers were going to and from the ship by tender. We probably were very lucky to get to this harbour first.
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The Flåm Railway

It sounded like something you should do once in your life: take the train on the Flam Railway in Norway. We thought we were very smart, we booked in advance through the cruise operator. Everything was very organised by us, my wife would get a special place on the train with her mobility scooter.

When we arrived in Flam, we got up in time. Quite an achievement for us, being very slow in starting the day. In time we left the cruise ship and went to the guides who were ready for us. A grumpy tall blond woman grabbed the papers from my hand that proved we had special seats. She growled that the papers were not right, there was no special seat for us. She kept the papers anyway. In exchange we both got a sticker with a number 24 on it.

Behind us more people showed up. Some in wheelchairs, lots with walking sticks. They all got a sticker with the same number and we were told to follow the woman.

We were led into a sort of corral on the platform, it looked like we were a row of sheep.

The iron fences were meant to keep us apart from the passengers that were leaving a train when it arrived.

My wife was told to leave her mobility scooter on the platform and walk to the train and climb on.

With the help of another guide we managed to get her on and eventually seated. Behind us some of the other disabled people had the same struggle to get on board. Another guide, a young blond man, welcomed us and made a lot of jokes about things that could go wrong.

When the train left, the more able passengers got up and immediately started making pictures of everything that we passed. Opposite us was a couple of which the man had a very professional looking camera; he was sitting next to the window. His wife had a small purple one and started to jump up and down whenever she saw something she liked. "You worry me", he said. She shrugged.

On the other side a man with two walking sticks was seated with three women. One was very overweight and standing up all the time. She blocked most of the view of the man. He obviously was not able to stand up. He tried to peek around his wife but soon that was impossible because of the woman with the purple camera coming to stand next to the woman with the big bum. Once she came over to us and asked worried why we were not making pictures. "No need", my wife answered and the woman looked at us in disbelief and ran to the big woman again.

Soon they were shouting to eachother: "Did you get that? Did you get that?" It proved harder than we thought to make decent pictures. It's only 20 miles and it also has 20 tunnels. This gave us the biggest pleasure of the trip: whenever the people thought that were making a nice picture, we would go through a tunnel. The driver heightened the fun by blaring a constant signal when going through these tunnels. It was a very high shrieking sound that hurted the ears.

The comical guide came to warn us that the greatest spectacle was coming: a waterfall with a woman dancing in front of it. For us it was impossible to see this, but it sounded a bit fake anyway.

At the end of the line the driver walked to the other side of the train and the people got another chance to win from the tunnels while photographing.

Finally we got back at the station and wrestled out and went back to the faithful mobility scooter. While we walked back, out of the station, we came to the end of the train. Just in time to witness how a man in a mobility scooter drove off another carriage on the train with a ramp. We threw our stickers in a bin.

I don't think we'll make this trip again...

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Getting to know each other

It was hard not to notice the fear in her eyes. Mary and I started at the same time in this department. It was quite a small team, just six people (5 men and Mary) and our meeting looked a bit out of place in the huge meeting room. The work was very specialised, quite difficult and just as important for the company.

Our manager Andy made a suggestion. "In my teams it is customary that we go to the sauna together on a regular basis. That way we get to know each other perfectly."

I reacted: "I have been in quite a lot of teams, never had problems getting to know my colleagues and never had complaints about it. Furthermore I did not read anything about this in the job description. I would pass on this one. If I want to go to the sauna I rather go with my wife. Sorry if I hurt anybody with this, but this is where I stand on this matter."

Mary sighed with relief and said that she agreed with me. I thought I had made a friend and also made an enemy.

Time passed and we had our regular meetings, nothing special happened. Until that meeting:

Mary pointed out that she really regretted this, but she had noticed I had made a terrible mistake that had cost the company dearly. She showed the others copies of the case and gave me a copy too.

I told the group that in my opinion we were just human, we all make mistakes. It was more important to learn from these than point a finger to the culprit. And I could tell them that it was not my mistake, but that the signature of Fred was under the thing. The discussion went on a bit, Fred admitted his mistake and was just as quick forgiven.

A few months later Mary had found another mistake, it was not very significant, but it was very obvious that it was mine. This time nothing was forgiven, the mood in the meeting was very negative. Randy Andy told me he was going to ask for me to get the sack. The next day I was invited to a meeting with the top management and got fired. Thanks to my union representative and his threatening with a court case I got the payment of two years salary to make it easier for me to find a new job. I was fired under the pretence of incompatible characters with other members of the team.

About two years later I unexpectantly bumped into Mary in a supermarket. She tried to be invisible, but I greeted her in a very loud manner, so she could not get away that easy. She asked me how I was and I told her my new salary was now twice as much as in the days when I worked with her. And I was working in a very good team with some great people. I could not help myself but ask: "Did you have a nice visit to the sauna lately?" Her face got red and she mumbled something I could not understand. Then she turned around and left the supermarket without any shopping.

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Contact Lost

His idea was proven not to be a success. He was feeling for weeks that the relation with his girl friend was coming to an end. They hardly had any good times lately, were spending hours being angry with each other. So he had been thinking to do something nice with her and had come up with this trip to the seaside. 

But after spending hours on the beach, which she normally liked, she was very grumpy. According to her it had been boring, he realised he was a bit to be blamed. He had fallen asleep, no wonder when you spend hours in silence on a beach towel. So now she went on and on about him snoring next to her. And after deciding to go home, they missed the train and now had to wait for almost an hour.

He didn't react, knew it would not help a lot. Any word from him would be like throwing oil on an open fire. After a while she was out of words and told him she was going to get a coffee. It was too much trouble to ask if he wanted one too. She left him standing on his own on the platform. 

He stared into the distance without really seeing something. There was a train at the next platform, had been there for some time. He sort of woke up to notice that two girls were hanging half out of one of the windows. One was wearing a white top, the other something with a lot of colours. Even from this distance he could notice that the one with white top probably was quite attractive and was waving and shouting at him. He could not understand what she was saying. The other girl seemed to be quite amused and laughed a lot.

First he thought it was about somebody else, but except for him the platform was completely deserted. He could not help it, felt a bit embarrassed. His girl friend might come back any moment. The girl blew him kisses in the air and he stood there a bit helplessly. The other girl kept giggling.

His girl friend came back with a paper cup of coffee and stood next to him again, her back to the rails, reading some commercial announcements on the boards. He decided to react and waved back at the girl. She reacted with even more air kisses. He was a bit worried: if his girl friend noticed this, his relation certainly would be lost.

His partner went to a bin to throw her empty cup away and the girl shouted something again. The sound got lost because of the noise of a train coming in and getting to their platform. It parked right in front of them, so he could not see the other train anymore. His girl friend announced she had to go the toilet and walked away. He had become a bit curious now, wondered what the girl would do next.

The train in front of him drove off, he would soon know. But when the train was gone, he only could see the other train leave too. In the other direction. It was almost not noticeable but she was still waving until the train went out of his sight.

He wondered on their way home about the girl, was silent. 

A few days later his girl friend phoned him, told him she didn't want to see him anymore.

He wondered, should he put an ad in a newspaper? You often see these. Like "You with yellow jacket and your lovely smile. I saw you on the train to ... on ..." He didn't think anything ever came off these. For some time he read these ads in his newspaper anyway, maybe she would place one. But he never saw anything like it.

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